A Million Times is a lot of my anxiety manifesting in a song. I was finding that I would try and mould myself into what I thought everyone else wanted from me, not realising that I was losing more and more of myself in the process. And even then, what I thought people wanted from me was usually wrong. So it was all a bit of a mess, hiding my feelings, feeling like I was ‘too much’ for anyone else in my life. It was hard to break out of the cycle, but I’m finding it easier to be myself now. A Million Times is a little reminder to myself that I don’t need to be that way anymore. - Faye Rogers
lyrics
Figuring out what it means to use space.
I guess I’ll just hide again.
I think I missed this sinking in my stomach. I think I missed the rain.
But this silence does nothing for me Unless you’re there to share the tension. And even then, I try my best to fill it up. ‘Cause I’m all teeth and panic,
Will I ever be enough?
I don’t know what it is that you need and it scares me to think that I’d reshape myself a million times to work it out.
Oh I’d love to lose myself.
I doubt you’d change for anyone,
But I still change for everyone.
I’ll start to swallow these feelings I know they’re too much to take. And I know, you didn’t ask for this. But I didn’t mean to be like this.
I don’t know what it is that you need and it scares me to think that I’d reshape myself a million times to work it out.
Oh I’d love to lose myself.
I doubt you’d change for anyone,
But I still change for everyone.
credits
from Fine EP,
released December 9, 2020
Written by Faye Rogers
Produced by Thomas Rees
Mixed by Josh Dickins
Mastered by Eddie Al-Shakarchi
Rosehip Teahouse is Faye Rogers, Tony Williams, Josh Dickins, Will Dickins and Alice Low
Super sweet indie pop compilation with new tracks from Trust Fund, Boosegumps, etc. benefits the St. Louis Legal Fund. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 4, 2017